Mermaids

I bet that a lot of people like to think about mermaids because... hey, I wonder how mermaids reproduce.

I hate it when...

I'm shaving while I'm waiting for a somewhat important phone call. This sucks because most of the time I end up with shaving cream all over the phone.

Eggs

It's kind of like eating an abortion to me. I don't like eggs much. I eat them until I remember what I'm eating and then I stop and feel sick. I hope chickens aren't eating my unborn children. They go well with hash browns, though. I do like those.

The word "squeeze"

I like it when I can tell what a word means just by reading it. The reasoning behind this is that I don't like dictionaries and I really don't like looking things up in the dictionary. You'd call me lazy, I'd call myself efficient. Take the word "veer," for example; you know exactly what "veer" means when I say it. Unfortunately, the word "squeeze" also fits in this category for me. The word "squeeze" grosses me out. This is because something bad always happens when something else is squeezed. I'm not getting into it any further. Use your imagination.

The Semicolon

It's used more to make winking faces on Facebook than it is in essays and other types of writing. I don't like proper Grammar, and I don't really know how to use proper Grammar either.

Citizen King

Whenever something bad happens in my life, my soundtrack should be the synth part to "I've Seen Better Days," by Citizen King.

LFO is fucking stupid.

LFO is a boy band from the 90's that played the hit song "New Kids from the Block." Now, they are incredibly washed up. Their lyrics are very hard to relate to because they often cite references that are incredibly unrelated to the subject of the song. Also, Chinese food doesn't always make you sick, asshole.

Here's a list of things I dislike:

1. Belts
2. Sporks
3. Curbs
4. Mustard
5. Flatchulence while walking. Like, a little for each individual step.
6. Flatchulence in general.
7. Ross from "Friends"
8. Dentists
9. The thought of what I'm eating while I'm eating eggs.
10. Spiderman.

I can feel my brain touching my skull...

Oh, wait. That's just my hat.

The Name Preston

I think the reason that I've never been friends with anyone named Preston is because I really just don't like that name very much. It rolls off the tongue a lot like the word pretzel does, and that's a hard word to pronounce for some people. I wonder if a man named Preston who had a lisp would have a hard time getting hired in a job interview.

Next Topic: 15 Year Old Girls and their Stupid Fascination With Penguins.

It's like a cry for attention. I don't think penguins are very smart either, folks.

Why "Smart" Cars are actually for the uneducated.

Well hello, everyone, and welcome to Trinkets and Things. I would like to kick things off with our first topic of why "Smart" Cars are actually for the uneducated. Smart Cars are those tin, little rinkydink caged moped typed of deals you often see being driven by cocky assholes who think that by sacrificing some of their own cargo space they are doing something good for the environment. The gas mileage is not all that much better than any fuel efficient car on the market, however, so clearly they didn't look into the specs before their purchase of the douchiest looking automobile on the market. This isn't Europe, people, and your two stroke engine isn't going to get you anywhere in America.